January
Well it is Wednesday 1st January 2014 what a year 2013 was. It started not so good with my hospital stay, appointments, and test results but it ended very well with us moving into our first owned home. We had a great Christmas we had 8 people for Christmas lunch (my mum and dad, sister, my father-in-law and brother-in-law and his girlfriend). It was lovely. We then had an open house in the evening where round 30 people turned up. It really was lovely to be surrounded by our family and friends. I cannot wait to have another gathering like that again soon. My Brother-in-law and his girlfriend stayed over that night.
New Year’s Eve was a very fun night we went out to a social club with our friends and my two brother-in-laws and their wives. I only had 2 very weak drinks but still had a lot of fun, I am not a big drinker and I do not need to drink to have fun like some people can be. We saw the New Year in, but unfortunately not long after 12.30am I was sick. I know that it was not the drinks that I had as I had finished my last one around 9.30pm and did not even finish that drink. I also had had more to drink on Christmas day. It was horrible, last time I was physically sick was at the beginning of last year when I was ill. Since I was sick this time round though I have not felt right at all. I feel like I am going to be sick at any moment. I have a funny feeling in my stomach that I find hard to explain it is as though I am about to come on but different. I sort of feel bloated but it is not a horrible bloated feeling.
As I am writing this I have just had to rush up stairs to the loo as I was almost sick but not quite. The nausea is building and building. If I am going to be sick then just do it already and stop hanging about giving me that horrible feeling. I have also felt on the verge of tears all day and I have no idea why. My period is due Sunday/Monday so it seems very early for my stomach to be behaving funny. It would be really nice to end the year if my last Clomifene round did work and these were actually pregnancy signs what a great start to 2014 that would be. But I doubt it is, I would not hold my breath until I see that big fat positive on a pee stick even then I still probably would not believe it. But I could always hope, I am sure I will find out soon.
A friend has just made me cry, he wrote a poem for me. He has seen me go through a lot with my Endometriosis and trying to conceive. This poem hits Endometriosis in one. Please read it in Endometriosis Visited
My period is about to start any day now I am having bad cramps and this afternoon a bit of spotting. I feel that one of the worse parts is the waiting, you know it is going to be bad but you do not know when it is going to happen.
The heat pad teddy “Micro Mike” my sister gave me for Christmas is getting used a lot today. I feel like crap, my stomach is swollen, my pelvis hurts, my bum cheek is cramping, my abdomen is do painful Micro Mike is really being a great help. I struggle to keep awake – the fatigue is making it so hard to keep my eyes open. I have had a bad headache all day. This morning when I had a bowel movement I had a little bit of bright red blood come out with it. Something to mention when I have my hospital appointment on 13th January.
Finally I am starting to feel a bit better the cramps are still there but not as strong, do not get me wrong they are still bad. I still have little energy but more than the past few days. Last night I took my first dose of this round of Clomifene. Though I think I have come to the realisation that it is not going to work. I feel that I will not conceive naturally. This is hard for me to say. I have said it before but I really hope I am wrong. Now I realise I am more than likely right. I feel that I have gone through all this for nothing and that is what hurts.
I am now on Amoxicillin for a chest infection. I took 3 today (I was told to take one three times a day) I am now cramping up it is very much like a contraction surely this is not related. I have been on Amoxicillin before and never had it do this so it may just be a coincidence. The pain is so bad and my pain killers are not working I have my heat pad on and curled up in bed just go away now please I have an 11 hour shift tomorrow.
Well my painkillers did eventually take the edge off the pain. But not enough to get a decent night’s sleep. I was still very sore this morning still I forced myself into work. My shift was a 9-8 shift. I was really struggling by 10.30am my supervisor said he would try and get someone to cover my late shift. I tried to tell him not to worry as it was a Saturday night and short notice. He still tried to get cover but like I thought he could not get cover at such short notice, all the causals were busy. I told him not to worry and that I would fight through the shift.
The guests were eating at 1.00pm by 1.30pm I was really struggling and by 1.40pm I said to my supervisor “I cannot do this anymore” he said for me to go and take a break and get some fresh air. I went outside and curled up against a low wall. The pain was so bad I had started to cry. My supervisor came to see how I was doing and after one look at me and told me to go home. One of the chefs drove me home because it was obvious that I had gone beyond being able to drive. So here I am my car at work and me at home on the sofa in agony. I have no idea where this flare up came from my period is over so why is it so bad now. It was bad at the beginning of this cycle but my period was light all the way through. After 3 days of pain it eased enough to get on with normality until last night (day 7) today is day 8 and I should not be in this much pain, not now.
I ended up taking 30mg of Codeine Phosphate which took the edge off the pain. To top things off I now have got thrush. I know that antibiotics can cause some people to get thrush although they have never caused me to have it. It must be the Amoxicillin that has caused it, I got it not long after I started the course of antibiotics. I have never had thrush before and now in the space of 10 months I have had it twice, luckily I had come cream left over from last time to get rid of it.
I woke up today feeling slightly hung-over, it must have been the amount of tablets I had yesterday I have had a PJ day today. I still feel in pain but it has eased a fair bit. I still get the contraction cramps. My appointment is tomorrow morning and could not come soon enough.
Wow this is worse than when I was on my period last weekend. Yes the pain eased a tad but it is still pretty painful. My stomach is so sensitive to touch. The fatigue is so bad I am struggling to keep my eyes open but when I close them to sleep I struggle because of the pain. I feel so weak. I really have no idea what to do why does my body hate me so? This has gone on since Thursday night it is now Sunday night and I have had enough already! Why are you even playing up after all you were bad last weekend my period is over you stupid disease. Roll on 10.40am when I get to see my gynaecologist I hope he can help me.
I HATE ENDOMETRIOSIS SO MUCH!!!
I have another 4 months of Clomifene 100mg and if that does not work then they will look at applying for IVF but the gynaecologist (not my normal one but another one in his team that is of senior level) said that the chances are I will not qualify for NHS funding because I am under 30. He said that I tick all the boxes on their application form apart from my age. And to top it all the form that the government says that they have to fill in to ask for funding does not ask anywhere does this person/people have any medical reason why she/he cannot conceive. He said that yes the Clomifene could be making my endometriosis worse but if could just be the natural progression of the disease. But the only way to see if it is getting worse again is for them to do another laparoscopy which they want to avoid because of my history. However if I was to have IVF I will have to have one to have my left fallopian tube removed. I just feel like crying I really do.
Yesterday was so hard at work I had to pretend everything was OK even though it is not. I was able to put a front on in front of the public but I could not hide how cut up I am feeling in front of those I work with. I burst into tears as soon as I walked in and they asked how I was feeling.
My mum phoned up to see how the appointment went. I could not bring myself to tell her the whole story of what happened, I need to get it round my head before I start talking to anyone about it. So all I said was that they want to see how another 4 months on the tablets go and that my Endometriosis could be getting worse. Which is true I just kept quiet about the IVF thing so not to worry her, after all we still do not know what is going to happen yet so what can I say? I will tell her when I get this all clear in my head.
Even though I thought I had come to terms with the fact that I may not be able to have any natural children to actually hear it from a professional was very hard. I still feel very numb about the whole scenario and keep welling up but I control myself so I do not cry. I am so tired today because of yet another sleepless night. Yesterday just kept going round and round in my head.
Today I had a chat with my PR manager at work. I thought it was only right to keep them informed about my progress. I told her that it is getting worse again but they do not know if it is the natural progression of the disease or the tablets that I am on or if it is a bit of both. I said that I may need another operation especially if is I am lucky enough to get IVF, which is very unlikely. She said that I should concentrate about my health and not to worry about if my sick days increase again. She was very supportive. I am so lucky to work in a place that is so understanding, not every work place is that good when you have a long term illness.
I did explain to her that I know mainly when I will be really bad but then I had this weekend which just came out of the blue. She repeated that I should concentrate on my health.
Talking of my health this pain is really doing my head in now. It has been constant since Thursday night and now it is Tuesday afternoon. I really do not know what to do about it on a pain scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being no pain at all and 10 being my insides are about to blow up I would say my stomach is a 6 today – thankfully the cramping has eased for now. But my pelvis/hip pain is 8.5 and has been this since Thursday nothing I do seems to ease it. Unless that is I take the Codeine again but I do not want to take that if I can help it because of my bowel. Also if I was to take the Codeine I would not be able to work, because they are the stronger ones that knock me out. When my personnel officer at wok asked what pain relief I was on she was shocked when I said only Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. I explained to her that I should not take Codeine unless I really have to just in case it buggers up my bowel again and that I am allergic to Tramadol but when it is so bad that the Paracetamol and Ibuprofen do not touch the sides I give in and take a Codeine and if that does not work then I go to A&E. Basically I will only take Codeine when I cannot cope anymore and the next move is A&E to get a morphine shot to ease the pain. But that is my last resort I hate having to go to A&E about my Endometriosis. It is the last place I want to be going but if needs must beggars cannot be choosers.
I hope I can do something before June get my Endometriosis sort of under control because my husband and I are going to Cyprus with my aunt and uncle at the beginning of the month. The problem is that at the beginning of the month is normally when I am bad and the day we fly out is the day I am due to start my period. Normally when we book a holiday we book it so it does not fall when I am bad but we did not book the flights my aunt did back when I was not as bad as I am now and did not know this. Looks like the first few days I will be doped up then after that I will be getting over it and then I can enjoy the holiday. Just glad it is 10 days and not 7 days. But again I have no crystal ball so who knows I may be OK, even pregnant, big wishful thinking though I think.
It is now Thursday and I am on CD (cycle day) 13. I had pains on Monday 30th December, then Friday 3rd January until 5th January and then from the 6th until the 9th January I had that very painful time it had eased a bit on Friday but by Saturday it was back to the level it was on Thursday. Sunday it had eased again but was still pretty bad. Then for the rest of this week it has been a constant pain level of 6. I am sick of this pain I really wish it would just do one. If it is this bad during this time of the month what is it going to be like when my period starts? It is in the right side of my abdomen going down to deep inside my pelvis and hip. My middle abdomen muscles are so tense. This morning I had a few twinges in my left side and pelvis but they soon went. Please just go away pain I am begging you I have had enough already I am feeling so run down now. I know I keep saying that I will not let this horrible disease beat me and that losing is not an option but I think it is starting to win and I really do not know what to do about it.
Today when I got to work and was told that I am to have a meeting with my supervisor and personal officer about my Endometriosis and hours at work. At 2.00pm we sat down and had a chat. I have had 47 days off sick the past year. So what work have proposed is that I do less hours on my bad week so I do not struggle with the bills I tell them the minimum take home I could go to and they will give me the hours that I need and then during my good weeks I can do more hours and get paid any extra to cover when I am sick. That way I do not have to do an 11 hour shift on my bad week. I said I will talk to my husband about this idea when he gets home. Also if I am due to do an 11 hour shift and I am feeling rough not to force myself in.
Well Saturday I had a pain level of 2, it was great all day with minimal pain. My husband had some of his friends round that night for a game of card. Between 6.00pm and 7.00pm the pain started to raise only to a level 4/5 but by 9.00pm it was unbearable I ended up having to take a Codeine again even that did not ease the pain which continued well into the night. When my husband’s friends had gone and he came up to bed I laid there for another hour or so and in the early hours of Sunday morning I went down stairs to watch some films and hopefully drop off to sleep. I think I managed to doze off for about 45 minutes. I expected Sunday to be just as bad as Saturday night but with more fatigue due to the lack of sleep. But thankfully the pain eased and I was not too tired. In fact the weather was actually dry enough for me to do a little bit of gardening. Monday was the same and today is going OK at the moment just long may it continue please let this be the last of the pain for a couple of weeks.
And the pain levels are still in the higher figures Friday night it was really bad again, a level 8. I refused to take the codeine because I felt I could not take ANOTHER Saturday 11 hour shift off sick I forced myself in on Saturday, hoping that I could complete the shift, doped up on Paracetamol and Ibuprofen along with taking Micro Mike with me. I survived the shift and by Sunday the pain was more bearable. Can I please have just one completely pain free day this month (more would be even nicer but as we are at the end of the month I would settle for one). it is the beginning of February at the weekend. So that’s right, next week I am due on again. I really am dreading it after this past month. We have decided that I will work my normal hours for now and see how things go. I have been unlucky with my shifts this week my last day off was last Wednesday and my next day off is this Saturday. This means that it is only Monday and I am already on day 5 of the week and I have only 4 more days to go roll on Saturday my day of rest.
Last night I registered for the Million Woman March for Endometriosis in London. It is the first worldwide march to raise awareness for Endometriosis. There are 50 countries getting involved with this. It feels good to be part of raising awareness on such a large scale. I am really looking forward to this on the 13th March. I also have my next gynaecologist appointment on 12th May. I am dreading this appointment. It scares me what could be said.
Cycle day 27 and I am s glad work is quiet. I am feeling extremely fatigued and my pain had been coming in waves all day. A constant pain level 4 around my kidneys and lower back and a constant level 5 in my abdominal area. This would then go up to a pain level of 7 and 8 then go back down for an hour or two only to raise again. My stomach keeps bloating out as well. One of the worse things about endometriosis is the knowing. You know that the pain you are experiencing is only going to get worse before it eases. I have 4 days off work now I will make the most of it as I only have 3 days before my period is due to start. I will just have to keep myself dosed up on Paracetamol and Ibuprofen and if need be worse case scenario Codeine. It would be nice if because of the pain levels have been bad throughout January this period will not be as painful, however from expectance I know that is not how Endometriosis works.
New Year’s Eve was a very fun night we went out to a social club with our friends and my two brother-in-laws and their wives. I only had 2 very weak drinks but still had a lot of fun, I am not a big drinker and I do not need to drink to have fun like some people can be. We saw the New Year in, but unfortunately not long after 12.30am I was sick. I know that it was not the drinks that I had as I had finished my last one around 9.30pm and did not even finish that drink. I also had had more to drink on Christmas day. It was horrible, last time I was physically sick was at the beginning of last year when I was ill. Since I was sick this time round though I have not felt right at all. I feel like I am going to be sick at any moment. I have a funny feeling in my stomach that I find hard to explain it is as though I am about to come on but different. I sort of feel bloated but it is not a horrible bloated feeling.
As I am writing this I have just had to rush up stairs to the loo as I was almost sick but not quite. The nausea is building and building. If I am going to be sick then just do it already and stop hanging about giving me that horrible feeling. I have also felt on the verge of tears all day and I have no idea why. My period is due Sunday/Monday so it seems very early for my stomach to be behaving funny. It would be really nice to end the year if my last Clomifene round did work and these were actually pregnancy signs what a great start to 2014 that would be. But I doubt it is, I would not hold my breath until I see that big fat positive on a pee stick even then I still probably would not believe it. But I could always hope, I am sure I will find out soon.
A friend has just made me cry, he wrote a poem for me. He has seen me go through a lot with my Endometriosis and trying to conceive. This poem hits Endometriosis in one. Please read it in Endometriosis Visited
My period is about to start any day now I am having bad cramps and this afternoon a bit of spotting. I feel that one of the worse parts is the waiting, you know it is going to be bad but you do not know when it is going to happen.
The heat pad teddy “Micro Mike” my sister gave me for Christmas is getting used a lot today. I feel like crap, my stomach is swollen, my pelvis hurts, my bum cheek is cramping, my abdomen is do painful Micro Mike is really being a great help. I struggle to keep awake – the fatigue is making it so hard to keep my eyes open. I have had a bad headache all day. This morning when I had a bowel movement I had a little bit of bright red blood come out with it. Something to mention when I have my hospital appointment on 13th January.
Finally I am starting to feel a bit better the cramps are still there but not as strong, do not get me wrong they are still bad. I still have little energy but more than the past few days. Last night I took my first dose of this round of Clomifene. Though I think I have come to the realisation that it is not going to work. I feel that I will not conceive naturally. This is hard for me to say. I have said it before but I really hope I am wrong. Now I realise I am more than likely right. I feel that I have gone through all this for nothing and that is what hurts.
I am now on Amoxicillin for a chest infection. I took 3 today (I was told to take one three times a day) I am now cramping up it is very much like a contraction surely this is not related. I have been on Amoxicillin before and never had it do this so it may just be a coincidence. The pain is so bad and my pain killers are not working I have my heat pad on and curled up in bed just go away now please I have an 11 hour shift tomorrow.
Well my painkillers did eventually take the edge off the pain. But not enough to get a decent night’s sleep. I was still very sore this morning still I forced myself into work. My shift was a 9-8 shift. I was really struggling by 10.30am my supervisor said he would try and get someone to cover my late shift. I tried to tell him not to worry as it was a Saturday night and short notice. He still tried to get cover but like I thought he could not get cover at such short notice, all the causals were busy. I told him not to worry and that I would fight through the shift.
The guests were eating at 1.00pm by 1.30pm I was really struggling and by 1.40pm I said to my supervisor “I cannot do this anymore” he said for me to go and take a break and get some fresh air. I went outside and curled up against a low wall. The pain was so bad I had started to cry. My supervisor came to see how I was doing and after one look at me and told me to go home. One of the chefs drove me home because it was obvious that I had gone beyond being able to drive. So here I am my car at work and me at home on the sofa in agony. I have no idea where this flare up came from my period is over so why is it so bad now. It was bad at the beginning of this cycle but my period was light all the way through. After 3 days of pain it eased enough to get on with normality until last night (day 7) today is day 8 and I should not be in this much pain, not now.
I ended up taking 30mg of Codeine Phosphate which took the edge off the pain. To top things off I now have got thrush. I know that antibiotics can cause some people to get thrush although they have never caused me to have it. It must be the Amoxicillin that has caused it, I got it not long after I started the course of antibiotics. I have never had thrush before and now in the space of 10 months I have had it twice, luckily I had come cream left over from last time to get rid of it.
I woke up today feeling slightly hung-over, it must have been the amount of tablets I had yesterday I have had a PJ day today. I still feel in pain but it has eased a fair bit. I still get the contraction cramps. My appointment is tomorrow morning and could not come soon enough.
Wow this is worse than when I was on my period last weekend. Yes the pain eased a tad but it is still pretty painful. My stomach is so sensitive to touch. The fatigue is so bad I am struggling to keep my eyes open but when I close them to sleep I struggle because of the pain. I feel so weak. I really have no idea what to do why does my body hate me so? This has gone on since Thursday night it is now Sunday night and I have had enough already! Why are you even playing up after all you were bad last weekend my period is over you stupid disease. Roll on 10.40am when I get to see my gynaecologist I hope he can help me.
I HATE ENDOMETRIOSIS SO MUCH!!!
I have another 4 months of Clomifene 100mg and if that does not work then they will look at applying for IVF but the gynaecologist (not my normal one but another one in his team that is of senior level) said that the chances are I will not qualify for NHS funding because I am under 30. He said that I tick all the boxes on their application form apart from my age. And to top it all the form that the government says that they have to fill in to ask for funding does not ask anywhere does this person/people have any medical reason why she/he cannot conceive. He said that yes the Clomifene could be making my endometriosis worse but if could just be the natural progression of the disease. But the only way to see if it is getting worse again is for them to do another laparoscopy which they want to avoid because of my history. However if I was to have IVF I will have to have one to have my left fallopian tube removed. I just feel like crying I really do.
Yesterday was so hard at work I had to pretend everything was OK even though it is not. I was able to put a front on in front of the public but I could not hide how cut up I am feeling in front of those I work with. I burst into tears as soon as I walked in and they asked how I was feeling.
My mum phoned up to see how the appointment went. I could not bring myself to tell her the whole story of what happened, I need to get it round my head before I start talking to anyone about it. So all I said was that they want to see how another 4 months on the tablets go and that my Endometriosis could be getting worse. Which is true I just kept quiet about the IVF thing so not to worry her, after all we still do not know what is going to happen yet so what can I say? I will tell her when I get this all clear in my head.
Even though I thought I had come to terms with the fact that I may not be able to have any natural children to actually hear it from a professional was very hard. I still feel very numb about the whole scenario and keep welling up but I control myself so I do not cry. I am so tired today because of yet another sleepless night. Yesterday just kept going round and round in my head.
Today I had a chat with my PR manager at work. I thought it was only right to keep them informed about my progress. I told her that it is getting worse again but they do not know if it is the natural progression of the disease or the tablets that I am on or if it is a bit of both. I said that I may need another operation especially if is I am lucky enough to get IVF, which is very unlikely. She said that I should concentrate about my health and not to worry about if my sick days increase again. She was very supportive. I am so lucky to work in a place that is so understanding, not every work place is that good when you have a long term illness.
I did explain to her that I know mainly when I will be really bad but then I had this weekend which just came out of the blue. She repeated that I should concentrate on my health.
Talking of my health this pain is really doing my head in now. It has been constant since Thursday night and now it is Tuesday afternoon. I really do not know what to do about it on a pain scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being no pain at all and 10 being my insides are about to blow up I would say my stomach is a 6 today – thankfully the cramping has eased for now. But my pelvis/hip pain is 8.5 and has been this since Thursday nothing I do seems to ease it. Unless that is I take the Codeine again but I do not want to take that if I can help it because of my bowel. Also if I was to take the Codeine I would not be able to work, because they are the stronger ones that knock me out. When my personnel officer at wok asked what pain relief I was on she was shocked when I said only Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. I explained to her that I should not take Codeine unless I really have to just in case it buggers up my bowel again and that I am allergic to Tramadol but when it is so bad that the Paracetamol and Ibuprofen do not touch the sides I give in and take a Codeine and if that does not work then I go to A&E. Basically I will only take Codeine when I cannot cope anymore and the next move is A&E to get a morphine shot to ease the pain. But that is my last resort I hate having to go to A&E about my Endometriosis. It is the last place I want to be going but if needs must beggars cannot be choosers.
I hope I can do something before June get my Endometriosis sort of under control because my husband and I are going to Cyprus with my aunt and uncle at the beginning of the month. The problem is that at the beginning of the month is normally when I am bad and the day we fly out is the day I am due to start my period. Normally when we book a holiday we book it so it does not fall when I am bad but we did not book the flights my aunt did back when I was not as bad as I am now and did not know this. Looks like the first few days I will be doped up then after that I will be getting over it and then I can enjoy the holiday. Just glad it is 10 days and not 7 days. But again I have no crystal ball so who knows I may be OK, even pregnant, big wishful thinking though I think.
It is now Thursday and I am on CD (cycle day) 13. I had pains on Monday 30th December, then Friday 3rd January until 5th January and then from the 6th until the 9th January I had that very painful time it had eased a bit on Friday but by Saturday it was back to the level it was on Thursday. Sunday it had eased again but was still pretty bad. Then for the rest of this week it has been a constant pain level of 6. I am sick of this pain I really wish it would just do one. If it is this bad during this time of the month what is it going to be like when my period starts? It is in the right side of my abdomen going down to deep inside my pelvis and hip. My middle abdomen muscles are so tense. This morning I had a few twinges in my left side and pelvis but they soon went. Please just go away pain I am begging you I have had enough already I am feeling so run down now. I know I keep saying that I will not let this horrible disease beat me and that losing is not an option but I think it is starting to win and I really do not know what to do about it.
Today when I got to work and was told that I am to have a meeting with my supervisor and personal officer about my Endometriosis and hours at work. At 2.00pm we sat down and had a chat. I have had 47 days off sick the past year. So what work have proposed is that I do less hours on my bad week so I do not struggle with the bills I tell them the minimum take home I could go to and they will give me the hours that I need and then during my good weeks I can do more hours and get paid any extra to cover when I am sick. That way I do not have to do an 11 hour shift on my bad week. I said I will talk to my husband about this idea when he gets home. Also if I am due to do an 11 hour shift and I am feeling rough not to force myself in.
Well Saturday I had a pain level of 2, it was great all day with minimal pain. My husband had some of his friends round that night for a game of card. Between 6.00pm and 7.00pm the pain started to raise only to a level 4/5 but by 9.00pm it was unbearable I ended up having to take a Codeine again even that did not ease the pain which continued well into the night. When my husband’s friends had gone and he came up to bed I laid there for another hour or so and in the early hours of Sunday morning I went down stairs to watch some films and hopefully drop off to sleep. I think I managed to doze off for about 45 minutes. I expected Sunday to be just as bad as Saturday night but with more fatigue due to the lack of sleep. But thankfully the pain eased and I was not too tired. In fact the weather was actually dry enough for me to do a little bit of gardening. Monday was the same and today is going OK at the moment just long may it continue please let this be the last of the pain for a couple of weeks.
And the pain levels are still in the higher figures Friday night it was really bad again, a level 8. I refused to take the codeine because I felt I could not take ANOTHER Saturday 11 hour shift off sick I forced myself in on Saturday, hoping that I could complete the shift, doped up on Paracetamol and Ibuprofen along with taking Micro Mike with me. I survived the shift and by Sunday the pain was more bearable. Can I please have just one completely pain free day this month (more would be even nicer but as we are at the end of the month I would settle for one). it is the beginning of February at the weekend. So that’s right, next week I am due on again. I really am dreading it after this past month. We have decided that I will work my normal hours for now and see how things go. I have been unlucky with my shifts this week my last day off was last Wednesday and my next day off is this Saturday. This means that it is only Monday and I am already on day 5 of the week and I have only 4 more days to go roll on Saturday my day of rest.
Last night I registered for the Million Woman March for Endometriosis in London. It is the first worldwide march to raise awareness for Endometriosis. There are 50 countries getting involved with this. It feels good to be part of raising awareness on such a large scale. I am really looking forward to this on the 13th March. I also have my next gynaecologist appointment on 12th May. I am dreading this appointment. It scares me what could be said.
Cycle day 27 and I am s glad work is quiet. I am feeling extremely fatigued and my pain had been coming in waves all day. A constant pain level 4 around my kidneys and lower back and a constant level 5 in my abdominal area. This would then go up to a pain level of 7 and 8 then go back down for an hour or two only to raise again. My stomach keeps bloating out as well. One of the worse things about endometriosis is the knowing. You know that the pain you are experiencing is only going to get worse before it eases. I have 4 days off work now I will make the most of it as I only have 3 days before my period is due to start. I will just have to keep myself dosed up on Paracetamol and Ibuprofen and if need be worse case scenario Codeine. It would be nice if because of the pain levels have been bad throughout January this period will not be as painful, however from expectance I know that is not how Endometriosis works.